Dear Adalaid:What's so wrong with flying the Confederate flag? It's part of our southern heritage. We even carry it in those Civil War re-enactments we do here. It's OK then! -- Deep in Dixie
Dear Deep in:You only participate in those Civil War re-enactments with the northerners because you think one day the outcome will change. Give it up. It ain't Dixie you're deep in.
Dear Adalaid:I just hate tailgaters. But I'm scared to do anything because of road rage. I don't want one of those nuts shooting me. What to do? -- Caged Rage
Dear Caged:Put one of these bumper stickers on that might help. "If you get any closer, we're gonna have to make it legal." Or "Back off! Sodomy is against the law in this state!"
Dear Adalaid:I'm a desperate truant officer. Keeping kids off the streets and in school today isn't for the faint of heart. They drive cars faster than those in the Indy 500. They've got more spending money then I've got in my retirement fund after twenty years. And when you get them back in school, they disrupt the place and get sent to detention anyway. -- Outdone in Ontario
Dear Outdone:Money's the honey. Kids today only respect money and fame. So why don't we cut the salaries of those bureaucratic administrative jerks and use it to pay kids salaries for attending school, good conduct and maybe bonuses for A's. And while we're at it -- raise teacher salaries to make the field competitive. If teachers drove Beamers and Mercedes and toted Gucci briefcases, they'd get all the respect they'd want. But you might be out of a job.
Dear Adalaid:Dear Praying:You're right! What if somebody wanted to clone people like you? Then what'd we do?!Dear Adalaid:I'm a juvenile court judge and I'm out of patience with the kids of today and the law. They are so armed and dangerous the police can't arrest them. They have to negotiate with them. When they do cuff them, the gangs take over the courts, the detention centers, everything. Nothing scares them. What would you do in my place? -- Out-lawed in Ottawa
Dear Out-lawed:Punishment should be swift, certain and reasonable. I say save the money on building more jails and hiring more personnel. Forget rehabilitation. Haul them into court, convict them and for punishment cane the crap outa 'em. Then see how "heroic" their bare asses look on the nightly news.